Thursday, September 29, 2011

Pink's not red

Go and see the frogman and telling him all your troubles...
take your umbrella cause he keeps on blowing bubbles

It's always time for tea

Monday, September 26, 2011

The feel good christmas hit


Nelson Crane had to attend rehab or face a custodial sentence in the state pen. Giving up his job as party organiser for wayward college girls Nelson heads for the crisp air of some mountains... he's really got to kick the scag.... but before he does....
'Hey now you're an all star get your game on go plaaaaaaaaaaaaay....'Hey now you're a rock star get your game on go plaaaaaaaaaaaaay'

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sew you on a bee you boxer... wanna be th'champ


ders a crase in my fleece
donald trump need s a thump
wax bee night shade oil spill
jazz poem ........ seven

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hit the north


She's am aqua bint baby
float bent feather coral gills
stands a residency dance commitment
through empty bars percussive fills

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Finger popping- 24 hour shopping

You know when you are getting a bit long in the tooth when you look at the wee yins and cannot fathom their antics... I speak specifically of the trend towards photographing yourself, either at arms length or in a mirror. I recall when no one EVER stood there taking photos of themselves... however this isn't the worst of it... there is also that trend towards taking photos of your own arse!!!! Yeah... I know. The irony being that most of the people who manage to get a snap of their bum are often very attractive and would have no trouble convincing someone else to photograph it on their behalf... it's a paradox... 'A person so sexy they have to take photos of themselves... often standing by a toilet' .... You see what I am getting at? A class act it aint

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

How do you, doo?




In the course of an average day I am often asked on average... so here's how

fig-1

Using 'Gilbert's Column', the unsurpassed method for creating curved unpopular stature reinterminance, roughly (to within a nano metre) lay down some sort of an idea as to the surrounding land

fig-2

very accurately draw in the tope half of the picture you wish to assemble... REMEMBER: BY THIS POINT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO GOING BACK AND ANY INJURY AT SUCH ALTITUDE COULD RESULT IN INSTANT DEATH... POSSIBLY EVEN QUICKER THAN THAT.

I often like to use the silouette of a breaching hump back whale to sketch the hair area of a drawing. For best results I use the great beast in it's ascent

fig-2 Reference. There is no shame in whole heartedly mentioning photographic respresentations of something you may later rely on in court

fig-3 Draw in any missing parts of the drawing

fig-5 colour the whole thing blue



NB- a simple pile of blues scrawled next to you finished piece, whilst there ONLY to mislead can be easily added at any time



Well that's how I do it, and now my assistant will pass among you with his collection bucket



'To paint is very nice, but stealing makes you a genius'- Pablo Pancreas

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Reasons to be doubtful


If there is a higher power who loves us, why would he/she allow to exist..
-Mucus
-Tooth ache
-Bud light

Friday, September 09, 2011

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Too mard to imagine


come one, come t'other
come my viewers three
another day spent drawing
yet nothing here to see

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Which type o'graphy are you?


I installed a tap in my pigeon
to relieve that intestinal glue
I left it running all last night
and filled the loft with pigeon poo

Friday, September 02, 2011

This is not a love song

Grown antlers barely covered in skin, the soft velvet moss