Auxiliary spacks

Blue ridge mountains of virginia

Zulu land

The Count of Monty Costco

In a wild western brothel
where pioneers leave their splinters
there's a portrait hung on the wall
of a lad suffering four winters

The lad is Monty Costco
his bargains can't be beat
when you buy in bulk
you receive a hand written receipt

Marcel Du Chose 1912-1985

It was in the later years of his life that Marcel turned to tiny bits and evaporated. Ever since that day doctors have been baffled, stumped and struck off over this intriguing case. Other than that his time on this earth was mostly a waste of everyone's attention

Hareemgip

Zumo

All summer long

The drowsy bees

Para retirar al mal vecino

Hail Caesar! Clearing up later this afternoon

*

The word is the enemy

The mischievous Z

Do you have an idea? Is it weak and in need of help? Why not 'brainstorm' it!!!??? All the cool creatives are doing it. Several people will dilute an idea to absolutely nothing faster than a speeding budget cut. Remember kids.. 'Brainstorm' will wash away unsightly personality, charm and ingenuity saving you time to get on with what's really important

Look a took

when spoonerisms collide

Anyway, I took a look at this old cartoon (right) and made my own version (left). As you can see the original (right) oozes charm and a mastery not evident in my own effort (left). When I finished drawing my picture (left) I thought I was right but it seems to have taken a sinister turn

If it aint fixed

Broke it

Noble Caustic

On a recent walk about the countlee sime i took thi photograph of the elements. If you look closely you can notiss a Ox, Lady owl, Otto the contemptible squirl, Henry Miller, a burrowing nazi war oyster and a clean venison fish  

Aromatic rain bulbs

it's early it's late
your misunderstood and unkind
an end to niggles thumps and hate
put your differences in a bag labelled 'nevermind'

or
kill splat twist... render!

Too many in the lift

Tomorrow's world, tonight at 6 on 7

Oscar Himalaya

Posh Poem Number FiVe
She was a horsey woman
he was a horsey horse
while 19 gears were set forward
the remainder were set to revorse

the body slipper

Far, far too lucid

Killing me softly

Does anyone else care?
You know when people say, ' I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger'
They don't mean it. On the surface they mean it, but, they really don't mean it

Bake me a vampire

Que?

mmmmm nice dermis

Let 'em eat eggs! ..... and chips... yeah... egg and chips!!

Put the curly wurly back

bees and bleating wasps willy wet
no time for spring time till summer's here yet

Enfin la valisse

Box social

We got salad and mash potato and sausage cocktails aaaaaaaaand horse whips, orange whips and rusty hooks and 3 types of fizzy pop and limeade and chicken drum kits and latvian dancing snakes and an incredibly ill at ease gorilla covered in wasps ... mmmmm mmm smell those mood swings, RSVP

Driving home for Chris Eubank

Jock Wilson, what an athlete

Now Jocky's gone too

'It's about as subtle as turnip sack thumping ...on a fence'- Sid Waddell

In a galaxy not far away

...at the 'too much information desk'

That wonderful moment

When a job comes in with the words 'dominatrix style woman, big boobs, good hips, carrying a whip and looking miffed' in the brief.... some days it's just fine to be chained to a desk developing texaco hump points

Intimate footage

Inducing violent gastric disorder
with flavoursome treats from over the border

Crash

Yeah... remember to save... crash... oh dear... crash... cup of tea... mmmm.... lost

Savage Arthur

A monarchy in peril

The Driscol Outrage

An approximation

Deep dish methadone and a diet pizza

I can only express my most sincere regret... I'm a blast at parties

Chapeau du poisson quel ce chose

Worlds famous dream team shower show room.... 20% off

Sideboard empire

Here comes the sun

Bun justice

Breaking news: FA now officially racist.... spitting dummies to be included in the London olympics.... the three remaining people in England NOT trying to be on telly have been asked to clear their desks and take a few months to work on a rudimentary act of some sort...

Calamitous comics presents-

The battle of the Yorkshire
-Gravy!
-Misinterpreted american history!
-Whippets!

Forward my mail

Four word mammal

It's a cracker

fold along a dotty line

stumped with this one

what can I say?

Unseemly dinosaurs

splashing rocks with floating water

Chippy tea

hello pop pickers, look at that it's friday again and to mark the occasion here are a selection of numbers by some really interesting acts. You may have heard a few of them on your wireless, CD-o-phone or NP3 players.
In other news I heard that Glenda Jackson will be protecting the human rights and photo opportunities of Nibiru this coming winter season. Visually depicted here by a young lady (post op) chastising a blue dog things missing it's front legs

Move to see nothing along here

Four square and ten

Selling England by the punnet

A little bit of toast

Why don't ya come back
Peeeeeeeeea curry

today's reference is?

If you get this one I'll definitely send you a prize

Frothy dog(g)

Luke Dogwalker

I was out on my bike roun' by t'pond up'road and I spies this ere dog walker. The country code dictates you must say 'hello' to every bugger you meet in the out doors so I did and this fella proper just ignored me, he looked like he was from space... brilliant character