In a little brown minute

COURAGE!!!

Sinking is easy

thrashing about on the surface is where the smart money drowns

Politically Correct

Deepening mystery

You've got me, I don't have a scooby, how does this thing work again?

Dr Benway

Coffee and pound cake and dead pitches

Ich mach boo boo was machst du (?)

The picture bigger

dersmo

Prometheus

Look more ancient signs of a big person beyond the stars
Lets go to the planet and land at the side of the big person's settlement.
Quick, off the ship and let's take a look this very minute.
Hang on here is a big person's head, we should study this
Here everyone roughly man handle this big head... How's about we
jam a probe into it... oops, it blew apart.
"This is rubbish I'm getting drunk, anyone can make people, for some reason
I'm immediately disappointed in everything"
Some dna will change me some how that ... ahhh well dead now
Pregnant with an alien lifeform... quick abortion via caesarian
All done, what's in this door? It's the old lad, why? Who cares?
The big lads hate us and they're going to kill us now
Quick blow up their space ship
Sure, us lads will suicide that thing after zero contemplation of the
explanation that wasn't offered.
Talking head.... comical.... crap.... walk out of the cinema....
booooooooo! bag of arse!!!

The end is Nighy

Girls who wish to be placed on pedestals
 ironically lessen the chances off being
knocked off.

The madcap laughs

Hey

Auxiliary spacks

Blue ridge mountains of virginia

Zulu land

The Count of Monty Costco

In a wild western brothel
where pioneers leave their splinters
there's a portrait hung on the wall
of a lad suffering four winters

The lad is Monty Costco
his bargains can't be beat
when you buy in bulk
you receive a hand written receipt

Marcel Du Chose 1912-1985

It was in the later years of his life that Marcel turned to tiny bits and evaporated. Ever since that day doctors have been baffled, stumped and struck off over this intriguing case. Other than that his time on this earth was mostly a waste of everyone's attention

Hareemgip

Zumo

All summer long

The drowsy bees

Para retirar al mal vecino

Hail Caesar! Clearing up later this afternoon

*

The word is the enemy

The mischievous Z

Do you have an idea? Is it weak and in need of help? Why not 'brainstorm' it!!!??? All the cool creatives are doing it. Several people will dilute an idea to absolutely nothing faster than a speeding budget cut. Remember kids.. 'Brainstorm' will wash away unsightly personality, charm and ingenuity saving you time to get on with what's really important

Look a took

when spoonerisms collide

Anyway, I took a look at this old cartoon (right) and made my own version (left). As you can see the original (right) oozes charm and a mastery not evident in my own effort (left). When I finished drawing my picture (left) I thought I was right but it seems to have taken a sinister turn

If it aint fixed

Broke it

Noble Caustic

On a recent walk about the countlee sime i took thi photograph of the elements. If you look closely you can notiss a Ox, Lady owl, Otto the contemptible squirl, Henry Miller, a burrowing nazi war oyster and a clean venison fish  

Aromatic rain bulbs

it's early it's late
your misunderstood and unkind
an end to niggles thumps and hate
put your differences in a bag labelled 'nevermind'

or
kill splat twist... render!

Too many in the lift

Tomorrow's world, tonight at 6 on 7

Oscar Himalaya

Posh Poem Number FiVe
She was a horsey woman
he was a horsey horse
while 19 gears were set forward
the remainder were set to revorse

the body slipper

Far, far too lucid

Killing me softly

Does anyone else care?
You know when people say, ' I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger'
They don't mean it. On the surface they mean it, but, they really don't mean it

Bake me a vampire

Que?

mmmmm nice dermis

Let 'em eat eggs! ..... and chips... yeah... egg and chips!!

Put the curly wurly back

bees and bleating wasps willy wet
no time for spring time till summer's here yet

Enfin la valisse

Box social

We got salad and mash potato and sausage cocktails aaaaaaaaand horse whips, orange whips and rusty hooks and 3 types of fizzy pop and limeade and chicken drum kits and latvian dancing snakes and an incredibly ill at ease gorilla covered in wasps ... mmmmm mmm smell those mood swings, RSVP

Driving home for Chris Eubank

Jock Wilson, what an athlete

Now Jocky's gone too

'It's about as subtle as turnip sack thumping ...on a fence'- Sid Waddell

In a galaxy not far away

...at the 'too much information desk'

That wonderful moment

When a job comes in with the words 'dominatrix style woman, big boobs, good hips, carrying a whip and looking miffed' in the brief.... some days it's just fine to be chained to a desk developing texaco hump points

Intimate footage

Inducing violent gastric disorder
with flavoursome treats from over the border

Crash

Yeah... remember to save... crash... oh dear... crash... cup of tea... mmmm.... lost

Savage Arthur

A monarchy in peril

The Driscol Outrage

An approximation

Deep dish methadone and a diet pizza

I can only express my most sincere regret... I'm a blast at parties

Chapeau du poisson quel ce chose

Worlds famous dream team shower show room.... 20% off

Sideboard empire

Here comes the sun

Bun justice

Breaking news: FA now officially racist.... spitting dummies to be included in the London olympics.... the three remaining people in England NOT trying to be on telly have been asked to clear their desks and take a few months to work on a rudimentary act of some sort...

Calamitous comics presents-

The battle of the Yorkshire
-Gravy!
-Misinterpreted american history!
-Whippets!

Forward my mail

Four word mammal

It's a cracker

fold along a dotty line