why wouldn't you?

here is what cars would look like if you left them to their own devices... but oooooooooh no. You have to go fiddling with this... fuel lining with that... torquing all over the shop... brake pads and all that. cars in the wild are not naturally aggresive, it is only with the introduction of roads and toll booths that the usually placid automobile has become the beepy, squash yer toes, bad smellin arse that it is today. It's a real shame. I remember when you could feed them carrots and sugar lumps... in those days we called them horses and they were a lot better looking too.

Ivans wedding night and segway double take

Ivan took that girl off my hands
I still feel i really owe him
after such a huge sacrifice
all I did was write this poem

...I never even showed it to him I also wrote it pretty quick, further cheapening the gesture. Not bad rhyming 'poem' in an actual poem though don't ya think? Ah suit yourself, let's see you off load a large psycho to a tiny viking and still have the wherewithall to pen a rubbish limerick.
We'll make great... make that... 'totally crap' pets. Are they actually wearing helmets??? Is this really happening in our time? The mind boggles, readjusts itself, straightens it's hat, takes another look at these 'people' then gives up and goes for a walk. Segways... go figure

posing the nail

pesky feet... they'll be the thing to go in our next evolutionary burp. I know because I read it in 'Science delusion today' magazine

seven golden idiots at the gates of Burnley

Make mine a waldorf salad... hold the winkles

moon stompin

Now i am the boss because I wear the biggest boots

pixie girls is where it's at

to be in a minority of one does not mean you are wrong.

happy where ever you are!!!

Here is a big parcel that I had left over from last year. i think it had a pineapple in there or a mouse circus... anyway it smells funny so you can have it. Please send 10 quid for free one legged trousers.

I went to montreal a bit

here is a house near Pauls dads gaff... pretty cool ey?
Here are two trained loonies who were doing some new dance like they had been bitten by ferocious electric beasts... they were great

Paul and Bev is the big park getting wet

paul and bev sitting on a table (well i never said it was gonna be a poller coaster post now did I?!)

I was trying to be arty or something... I don't have a clue really

These fine fine n'er do wells took me along in their new car



We stopped to play just in case later on we were struck down with the pox and therefore couldnae. Always stop and play kiddies... and avoid the pox



This is my pal Paul Bar None's father's house. there are outside are pauls Niece and nephew, a smarter more polite pair you couldn't wish to meet. later the little man freaked the snot out of me by rolling over a ball and seemingly bending in half the wrong way... 'kids are elastic' i was assured as the colour came back to my ashen face.

Here is Sean Scott the wonderful fellow who took me out to look at some drinks. he broke his rib but then had a spot of break dancing which resulted in him remembering that he had broken his rib



here are Seans pals. That's Serpico on the end, a talented musician next along and a pair of delightful young things who were a pleasure to be around... living out in the sticks I was missing dusky maidens with smiley faces.

How house are your pets???

Pffffft! Geddit??? Snurk snurk... yeah it sucks I know.... my heart is in the right place though (a box above the mantlepiece)

PARKED FART

latest in a long line of personal disasters

The Hives Walk Idiot Walk

the chunky dude on the guitar is the coolest kid

we're avin a paaaaaarty

yes we are

Montreal

What says rugged outdoor socks more than a fella camping with a big mug of bark,
a tilly lamp, a plaid shirt and a lap top for checking his feckin Myspace updates???
....hold the feckin phone there kiddies????? The western world continues it's abstract
descent.

emergency wig wam help line

this lad needs a robotic lav and unfortunately he is rather clueless in many respects, convenience location being one of them.

Helmet inspired by Johnny Boy Hullflinger... check out his blog there in the links.

roll out your towel....

to the tune of 'It's a brae lick moon lick nick the nick, Jimmy'-

.... let's 'ave a sunbathe a little bit.
Roll on deodrant, deodrant deodrant for fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
When you grow them they are worth the eating,
every ray of sun steps must contest.
Even when yer uncle is out leaning... on 'is garage.
Iiiiiiiiiin hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss vest!

don't look now

it's all coming together kiddies

Sorry seems to be the hardest word for the remorseless

here are two rejects from this week alone... and it's still only Thursday... stay tuned for further slaps in the face, rebuttals and chips pissed on.

A.G.G

germs can stay on your chopping board for days,
use agent orange on your children and kill all
the dogs in the neighbourhood

BRATWURST

he he he here is a little something me and gene made... or was it gene and me... i forget myself now