the trouble with you is....

yer a bleedin idiot

keys to the bentley

pitch on the rocks

First, they say they want you (to draw a picture)
How they really need you (to draw it pretty quick)
Suddenly you find you're out there (drawing it quick)
Walking in a storm
When they know they have you
Then they really have you
Nothing you can do or say
You've got to leave, just get away
We all know the song... the proposal was all wrong

reasons to be cheerful ... part 13

this is a real turning point for me... sorry I'm driving and typing and just passed by my street.... oops there's the rozzers... quick Marjorie.... hold this typewriter, cheroot, back scratcher, glass of wine, bag of bananas... no, no that's fine Marjie my dear... I'll pull over.... sorry officer how can i help... erm two pints and a pair of whiskies please... what do you want Marjorie? No, no they don't do milk stout any more.... oh sorry, you do?... my mistake.. they do marjorie, yeah, milk stout, yeah... erm a pint of snake bite and a bowl of cherries then... and a packet of crisps ya bastard... what? No i didn't say anything... no, it's these brakes, yeah they're no good in the wet... yeah, or the dry

Clementine break

rip it up and start again

long lacey woman dressed in black

guess

guess how many hamsters i have in this bag and win both of them.

Square bears

square bears stay at home

wanton madness

some absolute rubbish that has little to do with anyone's idea of a good time

North Sea Ferrets

begin launch sequence... 10... apple... nuts.... 7.... banjo..... artifact.... 12... twentington..... uncle albert... we're so sorry

like sand through the hour glass... so go the days of our lives

...it has been two to seven years and here is the 'outcome'

the belly button lesson

here is a pic form my project 'The belly button lesson'. It will be completed in abour two to seven years from now... depending on the weather

soggy shoes

Snaggle crank

a book I am working on

sorry, I mean... a book mans best friend outside of a dog... inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.. Groucho Marx said that, I think, something like that anyway... I had a dream last night and there was a shop (store) in there which was called 'What does the world need? More trainers'. I woke up laughing and wrote it down convinced it was genius brung back from the void.... you can imagine my disappointment... go on I'll let ya.

cheap holidays in other peoples misery

here is a wee slice of Italy where they nailed our hats on wi' th' prices. Up there are Alessandra and Alfredo who were mucho generous with their apartment and grub... unfortunately I nearly dies trying to breathe in near their cat.

Here is the view from the camp site where they used softer nails on our hats When yor da moon
My pals Jon and kate have a gaff in spain. The lights go off when you turn on the shower. i thought Kate was joking when she told us that as we left the airport... turned out to be true.

Super terriferrets all round

Auto Re-stop

Using that finger... yes, that very finger there... using that finger there the fella will press the button and auto re-stop the whole situation

know your limits

then try to ignore your limits... let's all get better at everything... certain bad habits will disappear when chasing the happy positive trails of applied effort

bunch of filters

Did you see them lads over at the von kreep what not? You know, making the cereal killers and all that... well they didn't ask me to do one and i don't blame them a bit... here i have battered this sodden Mr Poe with all kinds of filters and rush rush and now I have reached the end of photoshop... a little sign popped up (beautifully rendered by the way) and it said 'that's it sonny, you have drank too deep from the computer well and now there is nothing left. please try coral paint or just go for a walk'.

Peter's pickling prospects pending (a)ppeal