Precious little sense

what the hell is going on with those arms?
answers on a Tuesday

My mermaid meets machine mended moon maple

Send 5 dollars for a free haircut

The Sulphide ranger

Blisters!!!!

Pretty obvious back slap

Pretty Olive backwards
On her cheek I laid a peck
Cuddle cripple slap dash
She wrote me out a cheque
Normal fiddle fling floo
I felt I really should
Nibble shippy clasp rasp
Give her some old wood

Cheese and onion

set fire to everyone other than David Attenborough

When did it become de rigueur for folks running shops/ businesses to look moody? Is it just a sack of marketing shit? I wonder... here is a formula you may have noticed....

A) an introduction

{head shot ...to camera)

"we make cakes/ tattoos/ repossess cars/ run some type of business"

B) footage of people doing what they said they did in the intro

{wobbly camera round kitchen/ shop/ some type of business practice intersperced with 'personal' interviews of people explaining the rudimentary footage you just saw}

"we really need to make this/ do this/ collect this/ catch this"

C) some type of sucky epilogue

{head shot dialogue interspersed with previous footage of people doing jobs}

"We did it/ made it/ paid for it/ chewed it/ argued about it/ made moody faces over it

The end...

Meanwhile at the Copa

They have half price pitchers and spicey wing night

Tattah

This is an old gag I saw in an underground comic about 400 years ago. Since I have a habit of giving all my possessions away I no longer have it... just so you know, it is someone elses idea, I just redrew it

CKC

It begins!!!

Albino wino kelvin kleino

new and old

Ginger ale and coffin discos

zombie walks and bachus........
i think things will be fine

making a book

I'm making a sketch book filled with this type of rubbish (above). Anyone give a fig??

Here is how this doesn't work

Best laid plans right?
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Cry, and you get a soggy face.

God is in the details

I looked through the window
and painted on the glass
was a new and mysterious island
fired from a pigeon's ass

Sharing, caring Eddie Wearing

She stood on the bridge at midnight

her lips were all a quiver

she gave a cough

her leg fell off

and floated down the river

super secret

She lived alone in a shot gun shack
with her fourteen kids and a flasher's mac

Brown paper ignorance

Here is my old pitch idea....................

Mallory Lumbago (concept)

Mallory Lumbago is an ordinary teenage girl with a haircut
and a desire to go to the prom. Only trouble is her cell phone
contains the spirit of long dead queen of the equestriad 'Ms Splint'.
High jinx and moralistic tales ensue as Ms Splint unleashes
back shattering orgasms through Mallory and her chums at precisely
the wrong moment (on a driving test, at the breakfast table, during unprotected
teen age sex). Her friends respond with their catch phrase 'OH MY GOD!'
which is either speeded up and repeated or slowed down to a painful level.
The friends are Rita Marley-A black activist. Clamidia-A chinese cripple
and Petra-a quirky robot with street smarts.

The stories take place in either the mall, the school gym or somewhere else.

Story outline- everyone needs a date for the prom even Tommo the light relief
(a jug eared nazi war criminal)... family values are reinforced like dull nails hammered

home without humour or imagination. Ms Splint administers her tuppence pleasures

and the girls say 'OH MY GOD!' in response to everything and anything.

Crispy midgets...

served on a sizzling bed of chopped onion with a side order of bees

Here it is

So I win

Spot the button

where is it?