Pink's not red

Go and see the frogman and telling him all your troubles...
take your umbrella cause he keeps on blowing bubbles

It's always time for tea

The feel good christmas hit

Nelson Crane had to attend rehab or face a custodial sentence in the state pen. Giving up his job as party organiser for wayward college girls Nelson heads for the crisp air of some mountains... he's really got to kick the scag.... but before he does....

'Hey now you're an all star get your game on go plaaaaaaaaaaaaay....'Hey now you're a rock star get your game on go plaaaaaaaaaaaaay'

Into the great wide open

Let's see what happens now....

mental the handy cap supports

Water is nice

sugar and shoelaces

Sew you on a bee you boxer... wanna be th'champ

ders a crase in my fleece

donald trump need s a thump

wax bee night shade oil spill

jazz poem ........ seven

Developing head aches

urp!

Hit the north

She's am aqua bint baby

float bent feather coral gills

stands a residency dance commitment

through empty bars percussive fills

Finger popping- 24 hour shopping

You know when you are getting a bit long in the tooth when you look at the wee yins and cannot fathom their antics... I speak specifically of the trend towards photographing yourself, either at arms length or in a mirror. I recall when no one EVER stood there taking photos of themselves... however this isn't the worst of it... there is also that trend towards taking photos of your own arse!!!! Yeah... I know. The irony being that most of the people who manage to get a snap of their bum are often very attractive and would have no trouble convincing someone else to photograph it on their behalf... it's a paradox... 'A person so sexy they have to take photos of themselves... often standing by a toilet' .... You see what I am getting at? A class act it aint

How do you, doo?

In the course of an average day I am often asked on average... so here's how

fig-1

Using 'Gilbert's Column', the unsurpassed method for creating curved unpopular stature reinterminance, roughly (to within a nano metre) lay down some sort of an idea as to the surrounding land

fig-2

very accurately draw in the tope half of the picture you wish to assemble... REMEMBER: BY THIS POINT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO GOING BACK AND ANY INJURY AT SUCH ALTITUDE COULD RESULT IN INSTANT DEATH... POSSIBLY EVEN QUICKER THAN THAT.

I often like to use the silouette of a breaching hump back whale to sketch the hair area of a drawing. For best results I use the great beast in it's ascent

fig-2 Reference. There is no shame in whole heartedly mentioning photographic respresentations of something you may later rely on in court

fig-3 Draw in any missing parts of the drawing

fig-5 colour the whole thing blue



NB- a simple pile of blues scrawled next to you finished piece, whilst there ONLY to mislead can be easily added at any time



Well that's how I do it, and now my assistant will pass among you with his collection bucket



'To paint is very nice, but stealing makes you a genius'- Pablo Pancreas

Reasons to be doubtful

If there is a higher power who loves us, why would he/she allow to exist..
-Mucus
-Tooth ache
-Bud light

blah blah...

blah

Too mard to imagine

come one, come t'other

come my viewers three

another day spent drawing

yet nothing here to see

Which type o'graphy are you?

I installed a tap in my pigeon

to relieve that intestinal glue

I left it running all last night

and filled the loft with pigeon poo

This is not a love song

Grown antlers barely covered in skin, the soft velvet moss