Thursday, December 13, 2007

happy where ever you are!!!

Here is a big parcel that I had left over from last year. i think it had a pineapple in there or a mouse circus... anyway it smells funny so you can have it. Please send 10 quid for free one legged trousers.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I went to montreal a bit

here is a house near Pauls dads gaff... pretty cool ey?
Here are two trained loonies who were doing some new dance like they had been bitten by ferocious electric beasts... they were great

Paul and Bev is the big park getting wet

paul and bev sitting on a table (well i never said it was gonna be a poller coaster post now did I?!)

I was trying to be arty or something... I don't have a clue really

These fine fine n'er do wells took me along in their new car

We stopped to play just in case later on we were struck down with the pox and therefore couldnae. Always stop and play kiddies... and avoid the pox

This is my pal Paul Bar None's father's house. there are outside are pauls Niece and nephew, a smarter more polite pair you couldn't wish to meet. later the little man freaked the snot out of me by rolling over a ball and seemingly bending in half the wrong way... 'kids are elastic' i was assured as the colour came back to my ashen face.

Here is Sean Scott the wonderful fellow who took me out to look at some drinks. he broke his rib but then had a spot of break dancing which resulted in him remembering that he had broken his rib

here are Seans pals. That's Serpico on the end, a talented musician next along and a pair of delightful young things who were a pleasure to be around... living out in the sticks I was missing dusky maidens with smiley faces.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

How house are your pets???

Pffffft! Geddit??? Snurk snurk... yeah it sucks I know.... my heart is in the right place though (a box above the mantlepiece)

Monday, November 19, 2007


latest in a long line of personal disasters

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Hives Walk Idiot Walk

the chunky dude on the guitar is the coolest kid

Monday, November 12, 2007

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


What says rugged outdoor socks more than a fella camping with a big mug of bark,
a tilly lamp, a plaid shirt and a lap top for checking his feckin Myspace updates???
....hold the feckin phone there kiddies????? The western world continues it's abstract

Sunday, October 28, 2007

emergency wig wam help line

this lad needs a robotic lav and unfortunately he is rather clueless in many respects, convenience location being one of them.

Helmet inspired by Johnny Boy Hullflinger... check out his blog there in the links.

Monday, October 15, 2007

roll out your towel....

to the tune of 'It's a brae lick moon lick nick the nick, Jimmy'-

.... let's 'ave a sunbathe a little bit.
Roll on deodrant, deodrant deodrant for fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
When you grow them they are worth the eating,
every ray of sun steps must contest.
Even when yer uncle is out leaning... on 'is garage.
Iiiiiiiiiin hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss vest!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

don't look now

it's all coming together kiddies

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sorry seems to be the hardest word for the remorseless

here are two rejects from this week alone... and it's still only Thursday... stay tuned for further slaps in the face, rebuttals and chips pissed on.

Monday, October 01, 2007


germs can stay on your chopping board for days,
use agent orange on your children and kill all
the dogs in the neighbourhood

Thursday, September 27, 2007


he he he here is a little something me and gene made... or was it gene and me... i forget myself now

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Lets walk down into the valley and sell them ALL real estate.

Inspiration from Crookie the wonder dude

There is a real connection between Jazz and cartoons as you may have noticed. Also between comedy and jazz... don't ask me why but there it is... yeah that wasn't much of an insight was it? No, well suit yourself then.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Friday, September 14, 2007

Another true story

I was leaving a coffee outlet here in Canadian canadia and almost stepped on a tiny pig singing old stevie wonder songs... you know songs from his glory days. it was indeed telling that it refused to sing anything from his 'bontemi' period. I enjoyed a few renditions there for a while before the police drove by and splashed mud on the song sheets.

Friday, September 07, 2007

terrible, savage toilet tales

(sing to the tune of 'my old mans a dust cart')
Aint no bee's wax like bee's bee's wax. Like no bees wax i knoooooooooooooww... everything about it is so breezy... even stolen horses say it's the cats mee-ooooooooow

Friday, August 31, 2007

Be nice, we are all we have

Look there, that's Rick Cortez the big shot LA fiddler wi' the spikey barnet

Thursday, August 30, 2007

see me, hear me, bore me

LOL... LMAO....ROTFLMAO...BBC....PCP....LSD...ITV....CFC...BWFC....blah blah

Monday, August 20, 2007

nostalgia ball point pen paper the dreams of chillblanes

the main man glinesy inspired this... afte rJustin Coffe showed me the light (switch)

what do we want?
Better gravy!
When do we want it?
On a SUNDAY!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Love is an open mine shaft

'hello' said the medical person applying a tourniquey... 'Are you alright?' she stammered. 'It's... it's just these tourniqueys are so hard to spell.' Her voice lead me away from the stupor i had been enjoying, the result of meeting some floor travelling in the opposite direction to me. It's pace quite surprising. My senses being thoroughly wrong footed as a consequence. 'i think there is a 't' on the end there, like 'tourniquet'.' The personal medic pondered this for a small minute (45 seconds, new directive from Brussels)
'Ah yes. I think you are right. How's that then?'
I winced a little wince... maybe it was a big wince... they are hard to measure at the best of times... which this wasn't. 'It feels better with the correct grammar.'
'That isn't grammer that's spelling.'
'Oh I beg your parsnip... how do you do? It's just you look so much like Grandma, she used to shave her head as well... you know, in the summer. She claimed it confounded the bees'

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Graphic novelty

Writing graphic novels isn't easy these days... there are the many pages of 'nothing going on' to think of plus the correct amount of too much pretension, the waffle, the scenes were people walk through the snow, talking talking talking.... my own story concerns a woodland thing and some other characters that I haven't thought out.. they live in Toronto or something and go about their bland little adventures. I plan on having about 4000 pages with an intro of about 20 pages by some wanker you never heard of. The release date is somewhere towards the end of the mayan calender and it will be on 'Put a glass eye to sleep publishing'.... then again.... maybe I'll make a sandwich... or as we say round here, chilli home fry soup granade.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

burnt umber.. polly piquant... take a number

Cecil is a fella, a fella who eats plates
He often gets through 30 while talking with his mates
The years have flown by and his teeth are gone
His poor arse now but tatters
But there's hardly any washing up... and surely that's what matters.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

reverse caricature

I aint too hot at caricatures so decide to make them backwards. If the above picture looks like you send me twenty quid.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lunar Lenny

We heard they was growing strawberries on the moon
So we sent up our uncle Lenny
It was a long way to go
and he searched high and low
but when he returned home he said 'they hadn't any'

Friday, July 20, 2007

tibetan mind tennis

he's the greatest space explorer in the whole exploring land
he's fought a tiger walking backwards and it bit off his pipe hand
the Guallan natives call him 'Capowee-way' in what he thinks is great effection
but it literally translates to 'I am off to pick some dates, could you point in their direction.'

Ah yes the memoriods come whizzling back in glorious technimole humps. It was the springe of sevumpteen sickly eleven. I had just graduated and with my finely etched wooden metal work and fierce berrating diploma in my pocket i limped off down the main drag of edinburgh which in those innocent times was called glasgow.... stay tuned for no further updates to this story beamed directly into your mobile phone and or other useless device that marketting men told you it would be impossible to live without.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

Small Faces - Happydaystoytown

They're right you know

up the UHT!!!!

The coppers claim that they're in charge
then tell us villains are at large
we should surely dock their pay
when they let baddies get away.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

not rob

I drew this picture of one of the talented fellows i have met since landing in Canada. Everyone agrees it looks nothing like him.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Tyrelessly working for you.....

In the land where rubber is but a pipe dream (a rubber pipe that is... not a rubber dream) Mmmmm rubber dreams... bouncy. they get rubber out of trees you know? I can't imagine the type of mind it would take to hide it in there in the first place.

Monday, July 02, 2007

gimme the moonlight and you my dear

found sketch from 48 years ago when I was in the hollywood navy... finished up with adobe gunslinger kit

Monday, June 25, 2007

Lift heavy things until you no longer can

I just did a thing there for a gym... this isn't it but I wish that it was. Doing the job certainly influenced me to smoke more and maybe up my baby cham habit.

(sing to the tune of 'Lonely hot summer red neck woman trailer shaking fried chicken attack)
Crystal clear lakes
still make mistakes
like me they are fingers and thumb
at just the glance at your bum...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


Best prices paid for copper piping and box spring mattresses.