Before you jump to any concusions

just have a minute... take a look... this one is to be savoured... it requires more than just a glance then disregard.... after you have taken your time, by all means say it is bobbins, unfunny and hackneyed... I don't mind... all I ask is that you take a minute

Waiter, there's a toe in my salad!

Poor cadbury's

sorry everyone... really

This joke is safe from laughter based errosion as no one... and I mean NO ONE gets it

Randolphs all over the boat race

oxycute 'em

empty glasses

Here are some phrases that are shit

*'hit you up' meaning, contact you
*'user interface' meaning .... f*ck knows what??!!
*'Human resources' meaning, you are not a human worthy of consideration, but a resource to be used up. Obviously the word 'personnel' had to be replaced due to it's terrifying over tones.
*'24 / 7' meaning, I am a dullard but i heard this some time back and now I will pepper my conversations with it creating the illusion that I am some kind of yuppie/ high profile football coach who is so busy with one thing or another I must shorten the phrase 'all of the time' or 'constantly' to 24/7 .
*'work station' meaning, desk.
*'to die for' meaning, I'm a pretentious nob squeeze.
*'at the end of the day' meaning, that's the way it is and I resign myself to whatever situation I grimly attach this phrase to, no matter how shit it may be. The beauty of this phrase is that so many people use it it has become short hand for unthinking submission which is fine because, at the end of the day, that's the way it is right?

A phrase that is brilliant

*'Yowzer' which is self explanatory