How much is that doggy with a window?

The one with the double glazed pane?
How much is that doggy's PVC window
i heard that they repell heavy rain

More rain based nonsense tomorrow....
same rain based nonsense time
same rain based nonsense channel

Bizarre Experiments in Tea

Anyone with ANY clue what type of result I was hoping for here, please contact me to clear things up

Rain in my shoes

Kentucky rain keeps coming down

Ovum chips?

Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad's tits... no wait... that's not it

Goat in the machine

New business opportunities available in 'your' area. Not your neighbourhood, oh no, the area that causes catholics to reach for the rosary... YES! THE BARGAIN DEBASEMENT!!!!! den den derrrrrrrr!

That difficult third album

I know what you're thinking, that's quite the hidden epigram isn't it? Well congratulations on a keen eye you lucky muppets. I wonder if anyone can see the REALLY hidden epigram that isn't even there?

Don't phone in, it's just for fun

Celebrate the middle man

I think the entertainment middle man is receiving faaaaaaaar too much credit these days. Simon Cowell is your archetypal entertainment middle man and unfortunately his parade of fantasist human fodder are all too willing to be the oil on his cogs. 

Last train to London

You make me sick

I mean that less than lightly

I prefer winter's coat

to the other type of whitey

just realised that 'whitey' can be used in the context of "Down with whitey"... that isn't what I was etty grat. I was refering to the types of reaction weekend visitors to Amsterdam's famous coffee shops often experience. Disorientation, garbled speech paddles, cold sweating, spinal shivers, dicky tummbly and wild presumptions as to whether or not you may be leaking something important... 'throwing a whitey' is the phrase that places all these interesting symptoms in a neat concise parlock

Twilight: sprayed sparkles

Sandra 'Flakes' Timpany entered the bar with a coiled whirl of street dust swozzling her fetlocks before skitting upon the floor boards with a camp swoon. 'How's the form?' asked a passing waitress without warmth or humour...or passing... there she stood mouth agape and tip winning ways prominently vying for a tent peg... tension.. ATtention. 'Fine' said Sandra, although she soon wozzle

Is it right that every mum's favourite vampire heart throb has gone and landed his on screen missus in the family way?

The war on telly

You know who was a great actor? The wee girl who played the wee girl in Fatal Attraction. There is a scene in which Michael Douglas and the wee girl are playing a card trick game trick and that girl, in the space of 20 seconds, out acts everyone else in the whole rest of the flick . I wonder what happened to her? She really did play the part brilliantly