Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Processed Monkey


A) Get all excited by Albruno Rubbles and his high flying new york address. Immediately begin drawing girls in order to curry favour and cement a gaff to crash at in the big apples should they ever let you out of the institute.

B) Realise the error of your ways blundering into what will inevitably be some heavy heavy competition so far as capturing the human form in lines.

9) Sack previous efforts and hope no one noticed the lame arsed endevours you tried to pass off as artictricumen (which is a pretend word).

C) While no one is looking twist the initial weak pose and then use red to drape ‘interest’ all about the place. Sure no one will give a pip but the bright colours may just give you enough minutes to phone a joe baxi and get the feck out of dodge.

F) Continue with drapery upon realising the battery is low on your phone and taxis will save you not.

Tuesday) Abandon ship and take entire different direction. Up until now I doubt anyone was paying attention anyway… what we call the ‘honeymoon period’ of any drawing is often left to the folly of youth or the blind stagger of divorce/ second chance.

E) Yep, now we’re talking, start thinking of that firm thigh striding sauce bottle you picked up a some point in your life. Mmmmmmm I’ll never forget whatsername… allow three to five minutes for blurred memories and delusion of stallion like performance.

W) Indulge time honoured tradition of barely tinkering with the drawing whilst whistling a confident tune. ‘ Yeah sure it’s a new design’ this secures extra money depending on the look in your eyes and the wording on the invoice.

Hat) After being knocked back for confident whistling whilst barely tinkering, add hat. Who’s gonna notice right? Also note ‘gothic colour scheme’ it pays to keep up with what
the fashion unconscious alternative scene is up to in your local sewer.

13) foolishly travel down dead end street using sex clobber to grab attention. Not realising that they even sell cough medicine in modern times using lubed up cheer leaders
and sound tracks of filth.

13) Ok fair enough lesson learned. sex no longer sells. It merely reflects the attitudes of the bourgeoisie and their world killing attitudes to putting a price on everything from boobs to bird song. With this in mind revert to one of your own personal kinks, in this case tennis players. yes yes ok, tennis players in a scantily clad fashion. yeah alright and without a racket… yeah and a skirt, jeez! I just appreciate the contrast of white against tanned hide OK!

Yep) Suddenly notice that the drawing has bow giraffe legs. Try to continue by comparing sillouette to previous attempts…. look at clock… reach for beer (now empty).
Head for bed forlorn.

3 comments:

pBn said...

9Cf. What a rump!

FerdinandKreozot said...

Hey you made art.
There's entire multi- media performance outlined in this post!
All you need is some fancy galery, semi dark room with huge lcd displays stuck together with some chewing gum, and a Charles Bukowski look-alike in soiled underwear smoking entire packet of fags at once and reding the post above as the images swap on the massive screen.
Awesome.

Cheers,

Milenko

MickFred said...

that's no bad idea there Milenko... {puts thinking cap on, rubs chin... falls asleep as coherance alludes him for the third time today}