there is a hole in my lino...

How it got there, i don't know.

coming soon... sooner than you think.... hey, don't look at me like that, I really mean it this time

answers on a postcarp

extra extra read all about it

I have been making something for years now and it looks like it may be coming together.. then again

Musk rabbits

Fashion

Fashion turn to the left.... right.... oooooooooooooo, we are the goon squad and we're coming to town BEEP BEEP!

now there's a singerist

they just don't get it do they

When something is hilarious there is a definite reaction... you laugh, juice seeps from your eyes... you get a ruddy face... short of breath.... you emit snorts, squeals and on occasion snot comes out of your nose. What you don't do when something REALLY IS hilarious, is have the presence of mind to say 'that's hilarious'.

So for those that get up to this type of false labeling I say.... STOP IT.

Meanwhile up at castle Frankenstump

the trouble with you is....

yer a bleedin idiot

keys to the bentley

pitch on the rocks

First, they say they want you (to draw a picture)
How they really need you (to draw it pretty quick)
Suddenly you find you're out there (drawing it quick)
Walking in a storm
When they know they have you
Then they really have you
Nothing you can do or say
You've got to leave, just get away
We all know the song... the proposal was all wrong

reasons to be cheerful ... part 13

this is a real turning point for me... sorry I'm driving and typing and just passed by my street.... oops there's the rozzers... quick Marjorie.... hold this typewriter, cheroot, back scratcher, glass of wine, bag of bananas... no, no that's fine Marjie my dear... I'll pull over.... sorry officer how can i help... erm two pints and a pair of whiskies please... what do you want Marjorie? No, no they don't do milk stout any more.... oh sorry, you do?... my mistake.. they do marjorie, yeah, milk stout, yeah... erm a pint of snake bite and a bowl of cherries then... and a packet of crisps ya bastard... what? No i didn't say anything... no, it's these brakes, yeah they're no good in the wet... yeah, or the dry

Clementine break

rip it up and start again

long lacey woman dressed in black

guess

guess how many hamsters i have in this bag and win both of them.

Square bears

square bears stay at home

wanton madness

some absolute rubbish that has little to do with anyone's idea of a good time

North Sea Ferrets

begin launch sequence... 10... apple... nuts.... 7.... banjo..... artifact.... 12... twentington..... uncle albert... we're so sorry

like sand through the hour glass... so go the days of our lives

...it has been two to seven years and here is the 'outcome'

the belly button lesson

here is a pic form my project 'The belly button lesson'. It will be completed in abour two to seven years from now... depending on the weather

soggy shoes

Snaggle crank

a book I am working on

sorry, I mean... a book mans best friend outside of a dog... inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.. Groucho Marx said that, I think, something like that anyway... I had a dream last night and there was a shop (store) in there which was called 'What does the world need? More trainers'. I woke up laughing and wrote it down convinced it was genius brung back from the void.... you can imagine my disappointment... go on I'll let ya.

cheap holidays in other peoples misery

here is a wee slice of Italy where they nailed our hats on wi' th' prices. Up there are Alessandra and Alfredo who were mucho generous with their apartment and grub... unfortunately I nearly dies trying to breathe in near their cat.

Here is the view from the camp site where they used softer nails on our hats When yor da moon
My pals Jon and kate have a gaff in spain. The lights go off when you turn on the shower. i thought Kate was joking when she told us that as we left the airport... turned out to be true.

Super terriferrets all round

Auto Re-stop

Using that finger... yes, that very finger there... using that finger there the fella will press the button and auto re-stop the whole situation

know your limits

then try to ignore your limits... let's all get better at everything... certain bad habits will disappear when chasing the happy positive trails of applied effort

bunch of filters

Did you see them lads over at the von kreep what not? You know, making the cereal killers and all that... well they didn't ask me to do one and i don't blame them a bit... here i have battered this sodden Mr Poe with all kinds of filters and rush rush and now I have reached the end of photoshop... a little sign popped up (beautifully rendered by the way) and it said 'that's it sonny, you have drank too deep from the computer well and now there is nothing left. please try coral paint or just go for a walk'.

Peter's pickling prospects pending (a)ppeal

new..'party pope'

fixed one above......

here is a picture that has nothing to do with shrimps

turbine spine dance

I got a bunch of Kiraz reference from Justin coughdrop, among a multitude of other wonderful reference... he's there in the links so he is... he fell out with me for saying the hands on his latest post were bobbins. I think I have upset him and so I make a full and frankly frank apology. This ere picture is after looking at a whole heap of Kiraz stuff, that dude drew the gimpiest chin fizogs but pulled it off with elegance that is hard to do. It just shows that going that extra weird step more often than not pays off.... this is all starting to sound like sense so I refer you to the time when, as an 8 years old at a restaurant in Treardur bay, Wales i performed a perfect impersonation of a cheetah pulling one of them real big face stretching yawns as it surveyed the pickings available on the Serenghetti smorgasbord. You know what? No bugger noticed.. and I tell you now and i tell ya true, it was a great impression. It's hard to go back and enjoy your fish fingers and beans after such a set back but i did, after all a fish finger is still a fish finger and beans will, although not always obviously help their bread crumb, processed fish compadres along.

why do people

I was brought up to think before i say something. Other instances of pointless chatter are:-

'I don't like that shirt' - when you couldn't give a feck
'Yeah you look ill' - after you told them that you are ill
'Oh, that's not good' -after you sustained a heavy whack to the head/ received and 18 year term on a chain gang in Lousiana.

...and i thought there were many others as there surely are but as ever when it comes to remembering them I seem to have forgotten them all.

Ronalds hand lackery

Unexpectedly both Ronalds hands fell off... and not in a funny way either since traditionally, the hand acts as a barrier to prevent all the juice in your arms from leaking out. With them gone Ronald could do nothing but lement his unwritten letter that would never be scratched out on paper. It was a letter thanking his Aunt for a great birthday pair of book ends. Ronalds Aunt would no doubt think he was something of an ungrateful little bastard pretty quickly after the letter didn't arrive.

Don't read all about it

Whilst climbing up and down a velvet ladder recently i managed to snag myself a stainless steel bicycle made of live broadcasting

look here you

So here it is... kind of the crypt keeper there... the head of the up stood girl is from a still of Meg Ryan pretending to do it... and that seems to be my pal Alessandra there about to open up a juicey vein and have a gargle... only she was always covered by garments whenever i saw her. Look at the arm round the back there... I know, i suck.....

test your Brian

Clue: They are just like peas only different and beansier
Answer: beans

Crossword clue: 4 across, postmans sack.
How many letters?

... it's full of 'em

haaaa ha ha ha .... ahhh that sucks