You think you got problems???

After the resurgence of white rappers in the form of erm... Eminem and er, MC Tunes and Arrested development i have decided to dust off my EP i recorded in 1954 and realease it to major fanfare and bellly buttons... lil hips you know what i mean? Slinky wee things, oh yes.... but that is by the by. That's me Dad in the back warning you all to 'back the feck off!' yep... that's why I drive a Lexus.

When people were shorter and lived by the water.

yeah well it's the Armenian dream right? Tea and toast in bed all day every day pipe smoking happy wife cosy rhubarb man. It's all relative.

A blind butcher is doomed to eternal itchy bum

Further Blue Sash things stuff. here we see Steinholdt enter stage middle and capture the nations hearts with one flick of his delicate stupor.

doodle that i did in a train accident

I put down some aniseed to throw off the blood hounds whilst escaping from that island where they keep you all fresh and not so much salt then harvest yer organs for professional footballers who is the guy from the shawshank mile with Toms hank... you know it isn't a real island that they win in a lottery but then they go away and are not allowed to have sex with Renton or Scarlet Yohighfive....just as the jar of aniseed was running low I happened to notice my error. it wasn't aniseed at all it was pedigree chum special blood hound menu for blood hounds.... needless to say i was captured within three yards of my bedroom and cupboards where product placement abounds...silly really. Always read the label if not before escape then certain after.

A whistle stop tour of the worlds worst ideas...10% on

I drew this knight the other night...I don't know what it was about them dopey hats on the knights like in dragon slayer video game where you put in the money and a lot of nothing happened. then a cartoon said 'you died trying to negotiate the gap' or something unexpected like that. you had to admire their taking such a courageous leap in video games development.. if it wasn't for that game there would never have been...erm, actually it was rubbish wasn't it? Long may it stay buried... gawd struth...

yeah it might be little but you wouldn't want it on yer eye as a wart

Here is a picture i set about whilst consumed by an irresistable urge to stay up late into the night time with nibblers and a mad dog that wouldn't sit still. there are few and many here and down there a touch and all rubbish in that they were not the results i was seeking. Still, i had to laugh.... I was being tickled.
this one here at the bottom here at the bottom there at the end of it is a fellow playing the bongos... 'If in doubt, bongo' that is the busker credo as far as I have noticed on the mean streets of Durham. Where is Durham anyway?

so far........

so far..... i am losing it eh? i will go and watch the hurling on the telly and see if i can grow a neck leg for leaning over at a frightening angle.

the quest continues......

No doubt anyone reading this knows Lambey, the wonderfilled fella with all the excellent drawings and fun happy happy textured good. For some time i have been trying to 'lift' 'snatch' 'usurp' 'grasp with dirty dirty mittens' the stylings of the man. here is my latest rush over the top into no mans land blowing a whistle and firing wildly into the darkness. One day i will get close.... oh yes, one day. {exits with heavy heart and heavier boots, sighs, coughs, the ping of a button... the falump of ill fitting courdroy troozers as they hit the deck...a beat long enough to realise yesterday was laundry day and today is the time of the commando... the rising dirisive laughter....the cruel cruel breeze}

the picture there above there is for the use in a 'make yer own cereal packet whacky caper' caper. I saw all the top lads doing it so I am joining in on my own, all with myself. Apparently it has a long history this spoofing products and what not... look if you don't believe me (insert link that i couldn't find for you)

This fella rides in a car. remember when Big daddy roth fell off his perch? yeah well if it wasn't for him california would have never seen the light of day, never mind catch on as it has. yep, Big daddys Roth made it all happle.

here is a picture that i did that no one liked. i thought it was great but recieved no reassurance to this end. like i thought i was a good dancer but no one ever said i was, that went on for ages then my dad said i was rubbish at dancing and the dream ended.



















.....and here is a hand dryer that i always reckon looks like a one eyed koala bear with a metal head. i am using it for reference in a wonderfilled project of a on the side nature.

Unty

You know when sometimes yer pals fall out the end of your pencil. Mr Hunt a fine figure of a fellow (if there are few others about)... only kidding...liddle kids... kidney beans... mersey dotes and ferrys across it for cows...?? Mr Hunt

The blue sash

I made this based on a fella from Australia who is very funny and also a bit touched in the head. We came up with the character while stacking fruit and veg on an all night market in geelong, Melbourne. there are these apples called 'Blue Sash' and another brand called 'Steinholdt'. i will make the picture of Steinholdt soon and then the dynamic duo can go balistic... or something... see how i was trying to spice it up there at the last part... and see how i failed... and see how I keep putting these... dots in as if it is stream on conciousness writting which gets on peoples nerves because it is like doing the two little rabbits when making a 'point'... who am i even talking to?

Colossal repast leaves teenager feeling queasy! full story inside (teenager)

Before you start, take a deep bread

Multi storey organisms

It's like water off a ducks face

So you've bought a tiger boat

First thing's first. has it got enough water on the sides?
If a tap drips three 5ml drips every half nelson. How many kittens does it take to fill a canal?

penguin seance

i did this ages ago for a lovelly lovelly woman who threw me on the scrap heap like an old tyre

bad gun

here is some new old old stuff.
remember the fiftys when men were men and women were hydraulic?? oh the opulance, oh the optimism, oh the TV dinners... benny Goodman.. howdy doodee... greyhounds across the country to santa barbara fran sandisco.... all these things mean nothing to me.