47 animation less on

When dealing with scenes that may or may not contain banks do try and include a detachable conk, eye lid or cake tin. It takes the 'real life' stress out of peoples peepers when viewing any bank related tom foolery. {SFX: Chortle, snort, cripple, swings, round about squeek}.

Animation lesson 23...making a lovelly

Whilst being here on the earth we should all try our Georgiest Best to make a happy and fine thing to see. In my case i am making a silly wee cartoon that needs millions of hours of hard graft just as animation usually does. So far this project has taken me 37 years (cat years they are too... 9 shillings in old money) and no sign of an end to it.

Everyones favourite lech

I don't do very well the, how you say? Carrotofyours, yes no not good so i happy that making the success of my pal ray. nice fellow, lock up yer door stops.

Freeman Wilby Tea Pot

In my every day occupation as a big shot I am inundated with idiots and hawkers trying to push their latest brain fart on me. I am always gracious and talk with them for a few minutes before getting the security to teach them a lesson as they exit my solid gold building on Platinum nums lane here in Mayfair London cheap fags and spec savers. Above posted are some top notch ideas i myself have come up with as a beacon if you will for others less stupid than I to follow and one day own a fleet of brass prams themselves. Of course these are just ideas quickly jotted down but the fact that is was me who did the jotting makes them bankable with all the big studios.. in fact I printed some copies off on my solid uranium epson copier (with silk buttons) and exchange them for cash at every high street bank in Swaziland. I spent the money on cristal bottox at 12 million dollars a bottle which i poured on the floor like my hero 50 cent. It was quite a night.

Soft Focus Gravy Machine

That's a true story right there. I was shopping for sandreflex, which is a type of poison only effective on milners and it all just kind of 'happened'. i was a shocked as the next fella who was not shoked in the least.

High Calypso

More or less. the jumping dude there is based on a character I spotted in the fortean times a highly readable bunch of magazine hello

Old crap for Christmas

some old fellows from the olden days... clicky click click... aaalright. The trumbonet player animates if you clicky click him

At last! A good campaign that we can all be proud of about good yes

Look now. D'ya see? yes indeed yer peepers do not deceive me. using an ordinary pair of scissors and some paper with pictures I have created this wonderfully horrible lady. I propose that you do the same instead of sitting there complaining about the price of butter and picking gnats off your gibbon, missis! From the start of 2007 and running up until it peters out quickly around January the 6th try to make things that you wouldn't ordinarily make. It's good for your spirits and chicks dig it too. It's not photoshop either, you have to do it with scissors and real danger.

symbols of cymbals

yep. cardboard back scratchers

people i didn't see while not out sketching them

I spent some time not drawing people I didn't see and these two where probably the most prominent out of the whole none of them. There wasn't quite an unbunch to look through i can tell you. After i finished not doing it I had a good stand up and no cup of tea.
I learnt a valuable lesson though... and if we can all do that every day then by the end of a month we'll have learnt 30 lessons (unless it's february)

less4on four four

click on image to gain an insight into how exactly the big wigs animate jelly headed bowls of spuds traversing a beauty spot on a neato summers morning day day when they have left their arms at home or in the shop, that's a 'store' to any readers from New bangers or Montreally good. Oh thanks

Lesson 12. the theory of 'Dog'

One of the common causes of dog animation in cartoons is a story (or 'plot line' as we call it in hollywood) about some sort of canine. If you refer to lesson 'zark' I am sure you will guess my next point.... yeah that's correct. Dogs have four legs... which is triple + one hard to animate. For this reason Montgomery Clift sat down with boffins in 1867 (the golden age of radio) and invented the 'sat dog' approach to the problem of the four legs. This method demands that if a dog or dogs are to be depicted in a cartoon film they should be sat down. Pretty much anything dog shaped can and will look fine sat in the direction of down. This weeks assignment will be go out and buy some dogs and observe them like Teste Zoom Bang does in Spain. If you cannot afford a several dog then go to a neighbours house and peer through the windows at anything sat down on the chairs. Do not forget your patented leather 'animators balaclava' though. With all the weirdos about these days you can't be too careful.

animation lesson number five

Lesson seven is about the creation of interest in your film or movie or film. in the above example you can see clearly that there is a tension in the air and the young revolutionary fellow is all too aware of his own mortality. Obviously you will be unable to summise your own story in so few lines. I am however, a proffessional of many years standing and so can instantly capture the imagination and attention of the viewer, drawing them into the story itself. Such lofty accomplishments will come in time but firstly i suggest you make a simple scene wherein a man who has recently lost his umberella on a bus (very common, making it more easy to animate). he of course purchases another, well you never know do you? On returning home he finds that his original umberella is by the door where he left it and not as he thought 'lost'. As you can see this is a straight forward, up and down premise. for added simplicity use stop motion animation and nothing but eggs. good luck

animation lesson number zark

Lesson number one is simple. When making a walk cycle first thing to do is design a character with no legs. Obviously one leg is easier to animate than two. this logic naturely concludes that animating 0 legs is easiest of all. On you go then kiddies, give it a red hot go

yeah yeah yeah....no

Did yer notice how coronation street is filling up wi' cockle knees and all that pavlova? yeah, well i did and let me tell you kind faced idiot that you are... I plan on doing something about it!

they're selling dreams in creams

they're selling dreams in creams
Hot love swinging from beams
laughter 'til you bust yer seams
bus journey ball room in your jeans
All day sunshine parks with themes
No matter the direction that a fellow leans
old cripples or cheeky teens
no one will question what it means
to have your dreams realised by marketing teams.

killing in the name of........

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .....fun funzie fun fun. 'trouble is as trouble does' our angry school llama used to say... before the 'unpleasantness'. i knew a fella at school who for no reason other than his own amusement let loose all the locusts out of a tank in science class. He was called Darren Walsh then and probably still is now... what a guy. In a similar vein but entirely different I let loose a hamster in a shared house I shared with some muppets whilst working in Liverpool. The hamster used this free time to go into secret places and meet with shadowy hairy wee beasts. After the fifth time I let the guy stretch his legs he had it away across the border to Mexico or Honduras or Bootle... it's hard to tell when all that he left was a note pinned to a cactus. It read simply 'Aza outta h'ey an' I don' be comey bag' ...his english was appauling and upon reading the scrawl i vowed never to speak of him again ....doh!

Miscreants of the world unite and ... oh it seems they already did.

I dreamt of a girl waving her arms about, at least i think they were hers.. didn't really see any proof of purchase but i was prepared to give her the benefit of the trout.. which was also waving it's arms about. yeah i know, all three ding dong ding dong, givin' it some rice an nay 'alf measures bless yer crikey knees up Ian Brown. You ever try that mango? That's some good stuff, a bit messy but ultimately very satisfying in the belly department and apparently as it is now in the EU it can enjoy all the status of other 'fruit'. Like the noble Orange, that old stalwart of survey avoidance. the British apple, the unlikely recursor of punk rock revolution and mucky shinanegins in the graveyard. The mighty lap wing with it's filthy beak and unrepentant stockings and of course 'nettles' the spicey mate of the dopey dock leaf both of which i am certain have been rubbed on a pig down at River cottage after Hugely Fearned Whittingstump moved in and started with the blather.
The above are girls and the ben Gunns were rejected sketches from a pitch i made for some extra happy. they were rejected on the grounds that the brief stipulated 'gerbers' the tragically named pretty flower. If only i read these things before constantly trying to pass off Ben Guns for every job i chase... I could probably save a lot of time. Up to 14 hours a week, which is no small potatoes... still you can't take it with you can you? Well 'appen you could cram a few spuds in the muddy box with you.. In the event you left strict instructions for that type of carry on.. is that carry on? Did you pack it yerself? Did anyone ask you to take something on the plane for them? have you any lighters, liquids, guns, bullets, curry powder, harpoons, exotic thoughts, unpublished manuscripts in yer bag there? Ok you are free to get on a plane... but don't let us catch you doing it again! D'yer 'ere me!?! Stop smirking and on yer go.. bloody hooligans.

rainboy

Yeah you know, rainboy aka 'Ocean' aka funny talking sort. here is the picture that I couldn't send as you gave me no address ya saucey mare. Anyway.............

Shovey

A rejected fellow that i had lined up for a top secret project that I cannot tell the likes of you about. He sells peppermint to people with none.